The Paostian Deal

As if global warming isn't enough migraine already.

I come in peace, men, I Come. In Peace.


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Btw, an update... Well, not really an Update. More like, an announcement of sorts, something I feel like making so as to make it official at least to myself and my fans:

I'm on a diet.

I like everything 9 and all its multiples, but 26 is like my final cut before I start panicking for my skinny jeans. Yes, Sweet Taray, it's for real.

I haven't exactly realized how long I'd been away from this poor space until I was moronically pressing "G" in an elevator while I was on the ground floor. I was alone but I still secretly wished security cameras weren't invented—because I even actually got upset when the doors wouldn't close and I stupidly kept hammering "G" before I came to my senses... then laughed at myself.

Which is self-explanatory at best, the laughing-at-self part. In fact it seems to be the only valid reaction on describing how some of the most ridiculously ambitious of us have been living their lives...

In college, I was fortunate enough to have worked for the official school publication. Had I not been "discovered" by a Literature instructor who sidelined as a band vocalist every other night, encouraged by a fabulous senior named Karen who I wish had stopped smoking by now, and trained by a very good media practitioner who loves his portraits taken, I wouldn't have been able to resurrect the paper that was in limbo for about six years. And it was a great experience indeed, especially because I worked with an amazing group of colleagues who eventually became my Friends. Yet the most memorable part of it all was during my last year with the campus paper: when I lost almost everything while the publication continued to regain its glory.

One time, another senior, and a friend, named Daniel, scoffed when I told him about my plans for the paper. Had he not been leading us well in our dance group back then I would have let him taste my white sneakers which I wore every Wednesday. "Yeah, good luck with that," was his unbelieving, mocking remark. Weeks later the paper was coming out regularly, with the school rector and the rest of the campus admittedly awaiting our opinion spread every issue... My good friend Daniel passed away in an unfair crime two years ago. But I'm sure he's sorry he doubted the paper's ability to stand up strong again—and very much happy with the simple feat of his former "apprentice."

But the other side of that story was not at all bright. Daniel wasn't alone when he ridiculed my dream... That was why I allowed myself to drop everything else if only to prove them wrong. Of course I succeeded! But at the expense of, yeah, "everything else." In one of my final columns before graduation, our adviser allowed us to go a bit all the way and write our minds, so I penned:


Sadly I didn't get even a Pulitzer citation for that, or an Oscar nomination, let alone an induction to the Drama Queen Cheesiness Hall of Shame. Nonetheless a gloomier truth now mocks me: It is happening again.

But in a grander, more "real" scale, if you must, with all the minimum pay action going on around us. I'm 25, my college paper days behind me, but it's like I'm hearing Daniel's words again: "Good luck with that." Good luck with life, is more like it, right, Danes? This isn't entirely regret. I'm merely sharing my embarrassing frustration cloaked in denial disguised as content (yeah if that's not hidden enough then I dunno what is. Boink.) before I implode and get unnecessary expenses at the office—kindergarten kids posing as employees and managers—whacked.

Life today offers many opportunities for victory as well as immeasurable obstacles to achieve success. On the other hand it isn't absolutely true that putting "balance" in your life is the way to go... Never has, never will. Something always has to give if you want to reach a finish line while it's still in your itinerary. Unless of course you're a drug-prostitution-smuggling-gambling lord with immediate kins holding positions in at least 13 national governments per continent. Or you're Manny Pacquiao.

Life today will keep demanding that you push and push forward no matter what you lose. Time waits for no man, blah, blah, blah. Fine, call me greedy, but please don't pose as a saint: You keep slow but steady so everybody's birthdays and anniversaries stick do your head like leeches, you can lose your dream; you fight like hell for your dream, but you will temporarily—but dangerously—put your personal life on hold.

Which downfall are you willing to risk?

Missing the twisties.

At a grocery store.

It's been ages since my last trip to the cinemas. So even with "ang pula na ng mga mata mo kulang ka sa tulog" red eyes and feet exhausted from window shopping, I wholeheartedly grabbed the now-elusive opportunity to watch a movie when it waved at me; life is short. I was debating with myself and my empty head which to pick between Big Stan and Death Race. While the ticket lady was comparing the number of available seats for both flicks, I felt a subtly moving force... I was too tired to bother looking for the source of the strange... feeling. Stan had won my shallow being and I was handing out a crisp bill when suddenly:

"Hoy, ano ba? Ano'ng oras pa kayo aalis diyan sa Quezon City? Nandito na kami sa Makati, ang tatagal niyo! (What time do you plan to leave Quezon City? We're already here in Makati, slowpokes!)" My soul was there and then filled with surprising energy, the likes of which I only get from pizza, 13th month pay and James McAvoy.

Annabelle Rama was right beside me.

DEFINE STARSTRUCK. Hello! Not only is she among my favorite TV personality nowadays, but she's also my most super favoritest TV personality nowadays! In a split second my arm halted for a bit and with half-lives of their own my brain overruled me and my mouth blurted, "One ticket for For The First Time, 5:40." Apparently, my idol has that dissecting effect on me; that's how fabulously powerful she is. Anyway I was also planning to see that flick, for patriotism, her presence simply pushed me to do it now.

Pinoy movies since the 90's has always been more about make-up and physical projection than stories and actual acting performances. Especially in this case, with two of the local entertainment industry's dynasty offsprings at play—KC Concepcion and Richard Gutierrez—the default settings is just like that. However, I now, um... bend, corrected: For The First Time—after a looong time in Filipino movies—proved that some "golden children" do ACTUALLY work for and deserve their family's supposed fame. And let me just say now for clarity that we are NOT talking about a Gutierrez. KC has jumpstarted, fastracked and now almost done it: own the Filipino (sucker) showbiz devotee.

The biggest danger now for her—as with other dynasty babies—is to become her predecessor, her mother. First let's describe the movie this way: FTFT is an e-p-i-c divided into two parts, the first half being a series of Bubble Gang skits helmed by the rockstar Candy Pangilinan and the other half bearing Maalaala Mo Kaya's aura via, of course, KC and her support Richard. (What can we say? The stars' mother networks perpetually want IN on EVERYTHING.) FTFT had a fairly acceptable story enough to keep you from regretting that popcorn bucket. Given that, and following the premise opening the fifth paragraph of this post, we can now say the flick had its fate naturally relying on the acting "prowess" of its cast. Which only half of them satisfactorily delivered, but nobody really noticed save for the main course: Sharon Cuneta's firstborn.

Philip Salvador needs to step away from the tensed-face technic patented by Maricel Soriano. Pilar Pilapil should stay just as fabulous. TJ Trinidad needs to confess. Waaay overdue Richard needs to learn acting. And his daddy Eddie to make real films like all veterans should and for beefcakes stop piggybacking on his kids. CANDY PANGILINAN ROCKS. Denise Laurel needs to shut up, and Karla Humphries to stay away from face powder. Gee Ann Abrahan, Beatriz Saw and Bruce Quebral need to disappear, NOW. Bubbles Paraiso needs to redirect herself and her entire life to more useful things away from filmmaking. KC needs to review mommy's entire filmography and learn to AVOID EMULATING SHARON CUNETA.

She gave an applaudable performance in For The First Time. But some Sharon-ness just reeked off the big screen and it was a bit tiring.

But what do I really know. Or care. I saw a movie with my idol and that's fabulously enap.