The Paostian Deal

igetit,youandican'tbetogether.orshouldn'tbetogether.butican'tjustwalkaway
fromhowifeel.lyingdoesn'treallygetmeanywhere.andidon'twanttodeny
thetruemeaningofmysmiles.atleasttomyselfidon't.
iloveyou.
sayingitfeelssogood.knowingandacceptingitfeelsgood.butiamhuman.iamno
painproof.nomatterhowharditryijustcan'tbefreefrompain.
andistilloveyou.longhaveideprivedmyselfofthatfeeling.themomentihaditiwas
excitedandterrifedatthesametime.yetiwentonandembracedit.
likeasofthandgrippingathornyrose.
itoldmyselfiwouldneveraskanythingfromyou,usingmyheartasanexcuse.ididn't
knowitwasn'tgoingtobethateasy.
iloveyou,andallofcreationknowsiwanttobewithyou.butsometimesitbecomes
toopainfulthatialmostwishi'dnevergonedownthisroad.
iloveyou,buttheothertruthseemstobestrongerthanthat.iloveyou,yetnomatter
whatido,nomatterhowmuchihope,youwouldneverlookatmethewayiwouldwant
youto.iknowican'tcomplain,soifiseemtobesonowpleaseforgiveme.
onedayyouwillhearthesewordsstraightfromme.youreyeswillnotreadwords
anymore.butihopeyourheartwilllisten.justlisten.becauseitwilltakememore
thanalottolookyouintheeyesandletmyheartspeak.
untilthatdaycomes,knowthatiamhereforyou. iloveyou.