The Paostian Deal

Now here's a few of life's galactic pranks, which affects the greater population. Some of them funny. Some of them bad. But definitely: All. Jokes.

1. Liquor ban. Crashed an underground teen party last week. Zygotes everywhere. But there was petting. There was necking. There was nicotine overdose. And oh yeah, clean-empty beer gallons littered the effing place. Know what’s better than alcohol bans for minors? Face powder ban for bird-brain colegialas.
2. Sarah Geronimo, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, Marvin Agustin, Raymond Gutierrez.
3. Mall “checkpoints”. What the hell is wrong with my bag zippers and why do you keep rubbing those stupid sticks at them!!
4. The Filipino policeman. Right, Vera?
5. Janina San Miguel. I’m sorry. But more than the need to improve English training in schools, how long will we keep Pilipino as "just another language"? My tongue itself is impossible in English. We’ve practically dominated the globe with OFWs, so why not place Pilipino experts in pageant Q&As altogether, next to Chinese and Spanish?
6. Facebook. Yahoo 360. And all other post-Friendster, post-Multiply wannabees.
7. “Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.”
8. Hannah Montana, Britney Spears, Kim Chiu, Gerald Anderson, Piolo Pascual, Sam Milby, Charo Santos-Concio, High School Musical 1, High School Musical 2, High School Musical 3. All the way to the 1000th. And again, Hannah Montana.
9. “ASL”. Wait. Make that, “ASL?”.