09 July 2008

Real lines, real pitiful, gross people.

“Our goal for the next six months is profit. If you up my money, then maybe we can talk about your concerns. Bago kayo, ako muna ‘no! Hello!”

--A VP during a sorry excuse for a company planning


“I’m bisexual, but more on the guys.”

--A fag, 28. Didn't really finish high school.


“We’ll implement that strategy right away. Now, for Finance— Ano ba, nahuhulog ang bra ko (Damn, my bra keeps slipping)!”

--Again, the VP with knees darker than umbra


“Now what do you suggest our course of action is?
Ang kati ng puwet ko (My ass itches)!”

--A she-crow with a body of an ostrich, with its brain expiring for the nth time.


Corner of a street, 8:43AM. Waiting for a clean jeepney. Two college girls to the left.

Wind blows. Piece of paper flies from their folders.

Stupida: Eeeeeee!
Idiota: Owmaygaaadddddd! Eeeeeeee!
Stupida: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Idiota: Ouuuwmaygaaaaaaaddddd!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Stupida: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Note: None of anybody’s limbs was moving.


“Okay we have poker, we have suits, we have cars… I can’t think of anything else.
What other guy things are there?”

--Dorky the high-waist nincompoop. 33. Scrotum bigger than his skull.
QWERTY-ed by Paoper at 11:58 |  
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