The Paostian Deal

Passengers
Anne Hathaway, Patrick Wilson, Andre Braugher, Clea DuVall, Dianne Wiest
Director Rodrigo Garcia
Writer Ronnie Christensen


Sadly this plane crashed straight into the "Whaaaat?" category. Not only was it a bit dragging, but disappointingly predictable too. Even when the story spun out of control you could still pinpoint how, when, where and with what dialogues the mess would be resolved. The only mystery that lingered was, "How the hell does Anne do her eye makeup?" My mum Nicole Kidman's version remains more fabulous. But at least the what-really-happened scenes in Passengers was scary enough—for aviophobics, that is. My twin sister Anne was the only lovable thing in the entire 90 minutes. And Patrick's eyes.



The Women
Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Debra Messing, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Bette Midler, Candice Bergen
Director and 2008 Screenwriter Diane English
From the play version of Clare Boothe Luce and 1939 screenplay of Anita Loos and Jane Murfin


The admirable point with this strictly estrogen-only flick was that it stuck to its original idea: women and "real beauty." Then again, if I were to use the silver screen as part of a campaign for a bath soap I'd not forget that it's still a movie and a skit-ish presentation of scenes isn't "real beauty" for your ticket's worth. It was almost like staring at a corkboard slaughtered with Post-its of the entire color spectrum. Well at least all the eye bag action in this Women was justified with that effing "real beauty" gig. I guess. That, but NOT how Debra Messing kept channeling Will & Grace the whole time.



Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa
Voice actors Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith, David Schwimmer, Sacha Baron Cohen, Bernie Mac, Will i Am, Alec Baldwin, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter
Directors Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath
Writer Ethan Cohen



What was MTRCB thinking, rating this movie General Patronage? Not only did Madagascar 2 escape to Africa, it also zoomed almost past PG-13 with all the adult humor splashed all over. Uh, "the union wants maternity leave"? Animals dating? A lion beating an old woman crazy? "Moto moto means hot hot"? JULIEN?? Thanks to flicks like these we can expect a smarter-ass generation of youth taking over in a decade. FUN!