The Paostian Deal

City of Ember
Harry Treadaway, Tim Robbins, Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan
Directed by Gil Kenan; Screenplay by Caroline Thompson

I'm not really sure what Walden Pictures had in mind putting together a cast whose names you can't pronounce without a degree in tongue twisting—that's "Sir-sha" Ronan for you—only to lead and lose you into a big world of vagueness. When a massive blackout hit the City of Ember into total darkness, it sure felt more preferred not to have the lights come back on.



Nights in Rodanthe
Diane Lane, Richard Gere, Viola Davis
Directed by George Wolfe; Screenplay by Ann Peacock and John Romano

It was actually a hit at "lonely and cheating wives:" Flirting men look sexy no matter their age; women are simply, comical. Plus they appear to regress to their teens at the tiniest interest in extramarital affairs. Acting was very good, but the Gere-Lane tandem didn't really seem right... Story was quite predictable, but it had a nice ending. Though I still wish they snuck in Gavin Rossdale's "Love Remains The Same" somewhere in the cuts.



Max Payne
Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Nelly Furtado, Olga Kurylenko
Directed by John Moore; Screenplay by Beau Thorne

A production design dollhouse which costumes were grander than the plot itself. And again: Mark Wahlberg was misplaced. He should really stop accepting roles entailing scenes of drama or any other involving strong emotions. That or he enrolls in speech and drama classes.



Eagle Eye
Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Rosario Dawson
Directed by D.J. Caruso; Screenplay by John Glenn, Travis Wright, Hillary Seitz and Dan McDermott

Chase scenes were too polished they were almost synonymous to Lea Salonga's fabulous singing. That and a disappointing ending stained what could have been a nice feather to LaBeouf's kiddy hat. Oh, yes: Shia is still a boy.



Body of Lies
Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Mark Strong
Directed by Ridley Scott; Screenplay by William Monahan

Very admirable how the writers bravely presented in such an expensive manner their pessimism on the world crisis that is war. While it is a non-girl flick, ultimately it also became a showdown on who pulled off the better botox: DiCaprio, or Crowe?



The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Jet Li, Brendan Fraser, John Hannah, Michelle Yeoh, Luke Ford, Maria Bello
Directed by Rob Cohen; Written by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar

This is Brendan's signature... everything, I get that (but gawd all his yelling was so... ugh!). But pretty please, we don't need any more boring has-beens: Jim Carrey currently owns that department. Hurray for Jet Li, boo for Maria Bello. Half-yum for Luke Ford.



Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Alexis Bledel, America Ferrera, Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn
Directed by Sanaa Hamri; Screenplay by Elizabeth Chandler

That goddamn pants suffered the Sequel Syndrome almost miserably. Everything felt too fast it looked like the makers only wanted to get the whole Traveling Pants legend done and over with; they kept giving AND fixing ALL dilemma of all four leads and the effort was quite obvious that they seem to had forgotten it was a movie and not an HBO mini-series. (Nor a horror flick: Somebody give Alexis Bledel blood transfusion, quick! Or better yet, suck a few pints from Ugly Betty there already!) Props to America and Amber, but Part 1 is still way lovelier.



Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr., Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Tom Cruise, Brandon Jackson
Directed by Ben Stiller; Screenplay by Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux and Ethan Cohen

This wasn't a movie. This was a long exercise for your decision-making skills: Do I like it, or not? Do I laugh, or not? Do I know research on Scientology, or what? Interesting opening sequence, though.



Igor
Voices led by John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Jennifer Coolidge, Steve Buscemi, Sean Hayes, John Cleese
Directed by Anthony Leondis; Written by Chris McKenna

Animators for film have yet to name the god among themselves, and sadly those behind this one seemed to lag. "What poorly-dubbed telenovela is this?" ran in my head long after I finished my popcorn. Oh well. I guess it's the price for giving up childhood in exchange for coffee and porn: You will never enjoy things simply for their cuteness ever again.