29 June 2008
Chekwarathon etc.
SPOILERS.
WHAT'S HOT: James McAvoy. Move over Tobey Maguire, there's a new hot dork in town. In Narnia 1 James was cute as Mr Tumnus, the perv goat guy. Now he's cuter even with only two legs. Plus he plays with guns now and those lovely blue eyes paired with leather jackets are the best offset for the lack of a six-pack. But now that I think about it, I was so busy staring at his eyes that I forgot to check if he can act or not...
HOT: Wanted's script. While the sufficiently linear presentation had a few twists obvious to neurotic minds further-corrupted-by daily crime news and personal goals to get back at bullies in high school, the story did make up for with littered surprises, subtle humor and nice tracking.
NOT: Morgan Freeman. I think he mistook Wanted for another Almighty installment.
HOT: The positioning of gore. Think of Wanted as a Sesame Street version of Kill Bill: You know exactly when skulls will explode and blood will cover the screen and so you can synch your puke reflexes.
NOT: The gore. You people are sick.
HOT: Amazingly, Angelina. On her first scene I gasp-whispered, My gawd Nicole Richie has an actual movie? A few minutes later, Lara Croft was grinning with a gun with a tablet PC attached to it then I knew I wasn't in Neptune. In this flick Jolie didn't act. She strutted for 2 hours simply to let the world know that she's still in control. Even the fag who kept whining about why he hates aisle seats was wowed. And no wonder she went anorexic: Plus-plus-size women can't play sandwich with trucks and tunnel roofs. CG tricks or no.
NOT: Me missing a step at a 7-11 branch and almost pulling a Miriam Quiambao in front of bystanders. I think I was emulating Fox's chin-up walk and forgot I wasn't yet an expert stair strutter...
HOT: The red carpet-vibe at Shangri-la's Cineplex. In cinemas like this you don't go to the movies to watch films. You wait until everybody gets in, then PARADE yourself to the middle row just before the lights go off. Not bad for a minute of celebrity-hood, on a weekly basis.
NOT: Sitting next to a latecomer colegiala who moronically knows nothing except the words, "Euww raaats, grosssssss!"
HOT: The Calayans' new billboard along EDSA-Guadalupe. It's a quarter pounder yum-burger with lotsa cream cheeeeez.
NOT: A gazillion Koreans jogging along EDSA at 1AM. I'm not kidding with gazillion. A surprise "EDSA Quatro" can be an adventure for the virginal but the thought of it wasn't exactly thrilling especially when I'd already been sweating in my spare top because of the tropics. A revolution of fair-skin people IN WHITE jogging uniform is a whole other story.
HOT: Payday.
NOT: 17 days before the next.
HOT: Morgan Freeman saying, "Oh, crap".
NOT: Yeah, the gore. Huge sickleS through an old lady's chest? Sick, sick, sick!
HOT: The Loom. "Destiny chose you". "It's in your blood". "Control your fate or let it control you..."
NOT: Yeah keep encouraging closet serial killers and junior maniacs, you idiots.
---
BTW this is a tribute to the "film" a torrent of which I'm saving for a fatally blank Sunday afternoon: Hottie and the Nottie. I had planned to give it a shot but on my way to the cinemas I was distracted by tummies doing somersaults at the Philippine Belly Dance Festival and so yeah Paris Hilton--correction: Pares Hilton, according to a tongue-wag in an MRT line--is still a runner-up in the Actual Talent department. Pares Hilton. The line was so stagnant I thought somebody had begun selling "rice value meals" to resist insanity.
---
Speaking of dorks: Shia LaBeouf leads an action flick? Wow. The male Anne Hathaway.
WHAT'S HOT: James McAvoy. Move over Tobey Maguire, there's a new hot dork in town. In Narnia 1 James was cute as Mr Tumnus, the perv goat guy. Now he's cuter even with only two legs. Plus he plays with guns now and those lovely blue eyes paired with leather jackets are the best offset for the lack of a six-pack. But now that I think about it, I was so busy staring at his eyes that I forgot to check if he can act or not...
WHAT'S NOT: The several but half-baked tub scenes. How come Angelina Jolie gets a FULL back shot and McAvoy only to the neck? Well he did have a 5-second wet, shirtless scene but you know, dear movie producers, the ladies go to the movies, too.
HOT: Wanted's script. While the sufficiently linear presentation had a few twists obvious to neurotic minds further-corrupted-by daily crime news and personal goals to get back at bullies in high school, the story did make up for with littered surprises, subtle humor and nice tracking.
NOT: Morgan Freeman. I think he mistook Wanted for another Almighty installment.
HOT: The positioning of gore. Think of Wanted as a Sesame Street version of Kill Bill: You know exactly when skulls will explode and blood will cover the screen and so you can synch your puke reflexes.
NOT: The gore. You people are sick.
HOT: Amazingly, Angelina. On her first scene I gasp-whispered, My gawd Nicole Richie has an actual movie? A few minutes later, Lara Croft was grinning with a gun with a tablet PC attached to it then I knew I wasn't in Neptune. In this flick Jolie didn't act. She strutted for 2 hours simply to let the world know that she's still in control. Even the fag who kept whining about why he hates aisle seats was wowed. And no wonder she went anorexic: Plus-plus-size women can't play sandwich with trucks and tunnel roofs. CG tricks or no.
NOT: Me missing a step at a 7-11 branch and almost pulling a Miriam Quiambao in front of bystanders. I think I was emulating Fox's chin-up walk and forgot I wasn't yet an expert stair strutter...
HOT: The red carpet-vibe at Shangri-la's Cineplex. In cinemas like this you don't go to the movies to watch films. You wait until everybody gets in, then PARADE yourself to the middle row just before the lights go off. Not bad for a minute of celebrity-hood, on a weekly basis.
NOT: Sitting next to a latecomer colegiala who moronically knows nothing except the words, "Euww raaats, grosssssss!"
HOT: The Calayans' new billboard along EDSA-Guadalupe. It's a quarter pounder yum-burger with lotsa cream cheeeeez.
NOT: A gazillion Koreans jogging along EDSA at 1AM. I'm not kidding with gazillion. A surprise "EDSA Quatro" can be an adventure for the virginal but the thought of it wasn't exactly thrilling especially when I'd already been sweating in my spare top because of the tropics. A revolution of fair-skin people IN WHITE jogging uniform is a whole other story.
HOT: Payday.
NOT: 17 days before the next.
HOT: Morgan Freeman saying, "Oh, crap".
NOT: Yeah, the gore. Huge sickleS through an old lady's chest? Sick, sick, sick!
HOT: The Loom. "Destiny chose you". "It's in your blood". "Control your fate or let it control you..."
NOT: Yeah keep encouraging closet serial killers and junior maniacs, you idiots.
---
BTW this is a tribute to the "film" a torrent of which I'm saving for a fatally blank Sunday afternoon: Hottie and the Nottie. I had planned to give it a shot but on my way to the cinemas I was distracted by tummies doing somersaults at the Philippine Belly Dance Festival and so yeah Paris Hilton--correction: Pares Hilton, according to a tongue-wag in an MRT line--is still a runner-up in the Actual Talent department. Pares Hilton. The line was so stagnant I thought somebody had begun selling "rice value meals" to resist insanity.
---
Speaking of dorks: Shia LaBeouf leads an action flick? Wow. The male Anne Hathaway.
like how i watched narnia, atonement and penelope.
im going to watch just because james mcavoy is there and i want to stare at his perrrfectly dazzling blue eyes.
maganda yung plot? bonus nalang yun. LOLz i miss you xio pao!