03 June 2008
Cuts and the City: Fabbed away
Regardless, the Sex and the City Movie deserves a fuckin’ A, if at least for letting the still-craving fans hear once again Carrie’s jokes, Miranda’s convictions, Charlotte’s hopes, Samantha’s moans and the now-classic SATC music theme. Not to mention, basking again in the trademark portrayals of Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis as New Yorkers—women—happily wrestling life and love. It’s like coming home from a surprise lunch with your boss and his museum-lover wife. Ah-ma-a-a-a-zing wedding and New Year’s Eve scenes! More than any forecasted blockbuster ratings, the movie adaptation is one nostalgic, fabulously grand gift for loyalists of the phenomenal HBO series that ended four years ago.
Which was, a bit unfortunately, scarily obvious in the reels. Not too idiotic not to ask, but can people really age that much in four years? The girls are forever lovable, but if not for the Speed Racer-ly taste in set design—hi there, theeeese are colors—and mouth-watering pocket-humbling clothes, one could mistake it for "Desperate Grannies The Movie".
Oh did I say mouth-watering clothes? I meant mouth-watering pocket-humbling, extravagantly beautiful, delectably gorgeous, I-am-so-inspired-please-throw-Hannah-Montana-to-a-wall shit definitive of what Sex and the City is all about: fashion, love life, and sex. Even the “ladies” Stanford Blatch (Willie Garson) and Anthony Marantino (Mario Cantone) looked expensively cute in the wedding scenes. So the fashion was there, and the sex in MTRCB’s undersea-volcano vaults. Re-read about the idiocy. That leaves us with SATC’s ulti-meat: the fab four’s lives as stuck-in-relationships women.
For straight men, alien geeks, chastity belt champions and other non-SATC followers, the movie was just another 2 free hours. The cult members, on the other hand, are the toughest crowd to please. For one thing, they’re used to the faster-paced nature of the TV version, hence the prolonged and lengthened—redundant for emphasis—progress of the movie's story. The core conflict in the plot, Carrie and Big (Chris Noth)’s wedding, was already presented in the first 30 minutes. What happened in the next 90 was just a series of lengthy in-betweens for nothing else but delaying the apparent movie ending. It's SATC's style to cut in on Carrie's dilemmas with the other three leads' character quests, yet apparently you can only stretch things so much in the silver screen. Maybe the writers thought the flick will run for only 20 minutes? SATC historians don't mind indulging in such longevity, but the straight men, alien geeks, chastity belt champions and other non-SATC devotees surely found it, I’m sorry, boring. The writers could’ve given Stanny more exposure than Carrie’s new assistant Louise (Jennifer Hudson) who didn’t really beef up the story aside from her big eyes and bigger boobs. More pink humor could’ve salvaged the film’s dull moments. BUT STILL:
A fuckin’ A to Michal Patrick King. And a fuckin’ AAA to the girls.
Now fuckin' nuke MTRCB.
Which was, a bit unfortunately, scarily obvious in the reels. Not too idiotic not to ask, but can people really age that much in four years? The girls are forever lovable, but if not for the Speed Racer-ly taste in set design—hi there, theeeese are colors—and mouth-watering pocket-humbling clothes, one could mistake it for "Desperate Grannies The Movie".
Oh did I say mouth-watering clothes? I meant mouth-watering pocket-humbling, extravagantly beautiful, delectably gorgeous, I-am-so-inspired-please-throw-Hannah-Montana-to-a-wall shit definitive of what Sex and the City is all about: fashion, love life, and sex. Even the “ladies” Stanford Blatch (Willie Garson) and Anthony Marantino (Mario Cantone) looked expensively cute in the wedding scenes. So the fashion was there, and the sex in MTRCB’s undersea-volcano vaults. Re-read about the idiocy. That leaves us with SATC’s ulti-meat: the fab four’s lives as stuck-in-relationships women.
For straight men, alien geeks, chastity belt champions and other non-SATC followers, the movie was just another 2 free hours. The cult members, on the other hand, are the toughest crowd to please. For one thing, they’re used to the faster-paced nature of the TV version, hence the prolonged and lengthened—redundant for emphasis—progress of the movie's story. The core conflict in the plot, Carrie and Big (Chris Noth)’s wedding, was already presented in the first 30 minutes. What happened in the next 90 was just a series of lengthy in-betweens for nothing else but delaying the apparent movie ending. It's SATC's style to cut in on Carrie's dilemmas with the other three leads' character quests, yet apparently you can only stretch things so much in the silver screen. Maybe the writers thought the flick will run for only 20 minutes? SATC historians don't mind indulging in such longevity, but the straight men, alien geeks, chastity belt champions and other non-SATC devotees surely found it, I’m sorry, boring. The writers could’ve given Stanny more exposure than Carrie’s new assistant Louise (Jennifer Hudson) who didn’t really beef up the story aside from her big eyes and bigger boobs. More pink humor could’ve salvaged the film’s dull moments. BUT STILL:
A fuckin’ A to Michal Patrick King. And a fuckin’ AAA to the girls.
Now fuckin' nuke MTRCB.
4 said something:
bwahahahaha i agree, it was too long..naging dragging a bit & i was suprised Stanford did not have good scenes.
but clothes were fab, but SJP aged noh? Loved Charlotte in the movie. ahahaha
but clothes were fab, but SJP aged noh? Loved Charlotte in the movie. ahahaha
Jai: Yeah, sure. I'd like to be a guest in the site. But no, a beating won't do: Those MTRCrapB's should be blasted to smithereens.
Vannie: SJP did not "age". She EVOLVED. So much that she can pull of the sequel to 'Hocus Pocus' with less make-up.
can i put this review on cinemafia?