26 February 2008
My life as a guidance couselor
Porn Diva: Would you kill me if I become a gay lesbo?
Itchy Scratchy: Most probably.
Porn Diva: Oh, no. Help, Cuz! Here's the thing: There's this guy I met at (censored), then we went on a date. Turns out he's more femme than I. BUT: he also tells me he's never been so happy. Kinikilig siya when we txt and all. E I don't want to break the kid's heart. And he finds me cute and hot daw--ano ba 'yun!
Itchy Scratchy: Remind me to barf before going to bed. Kid?? Get a crash course in Aeronautics, zoom to Saturn and stay there.
Porn Diva: Naku naman. I don't want to sound rude. Remember that's your thing. Mine is sweeter. I'm supposed to be everybody's best friend duh vah? Besides, I also told him I'm a diva--hindi naman daw issue.
Itchy Scratchy: Okay. So, um... RUN! RUN FAST! Run fast AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!
Porn Diva: Great. Now I'm scared.
Itchy Scratchy: It's new territory. But I don't think my head will stop shaking anytime soon... Are you sure it's not your tummy? Or bangs?
Porn Diva: I know. I know. Right now, honestly, I just can't "leave" him because he's really happy loving me. He even tells his friends how happy he is. He txts almost every hour--which kinda starts to bug me. But my point is: "If I can't find my prince charming, let me at least be someone else's prince", that sort of sacrificing-for-the-greater-good stuff...
Itchy Scratchy: Okay bazooka past Saturn and head straight to Planet X. Are you listening to yourself? That's dumb charity. Worse, it's dumb charity and all you're giving away is a... wig. And if you want sacrifices, there's Sarah Geronimo. You'd be doing Everyone a favor if you take her out.
Porn Diva: Hmm... Bakit naman wig?
Itchy Scratchy: Think Cher becoming Prince. Or Whitney Houston morphing into Nora Aunor--same thing, but the "new" form is less, less, less shinier. You want to be Prince?
Porn Diva: He-he! Oo nga. I guess you're right. It's just that I don't want to break somebody's heart because I know how it feels...
Itchy Scratchy: You're a whore, not a social worker.
Porn Diva: I'll just find a way how to tell him. Sayang lang, cute pa naman. Hindi nga lang discreet.
Itchy Scratchy: Your gaytoy will learn. Soon as he discovers collared tops and maybe Mohawks and hair wax. Then maybe you can try again. For now, I'll be in Planet X and you stay away from ballads.
Porn Diva: Thanks, Cuz!
Itchy Scratchy: Most probably.
Porn Diva: Oh, no. Help, Cuz! Here's the thing: There's this guy I met at (censored), then we went on a date. Turns out he's more femme than I. BUT: he also tells me he's never been so happy. Kinikilig siya when we txt and all. E I don't want to break the kid's heart. And he finds me cute and hot daw--ano ba 'yun!
Itchy Scratchy: Remind me to barf before going to bed. Kid?? Get a crash course in Aeronautics, zoom to Saturn and stay there.
Porn Diva: Naku naman. I don't want to sound rude. Remember that's your thing. Mine is sweeter. I'm supposed to be everybody's best friend duh vah? Besides, I also told him I'm a diva--hindi naman daw issue.
Itchy Scratchy: Okay. So, um... RUN! RUN FAST! Run fast AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!
Porn Diva: Great. Now I'm scared.
Itchy Scratchy: It's new territory. But I don't think my head will stop shaking anytime soon... Are you sure it's not your tummy? Or bangs?
Porn Diva: I know. I know. Right now, honestly, I just can't "leave" him because he's really happy loving me. He even tells his friends how happy he is. He txts almost every hour--which kinda starts to bug me. But my point is: "If I can't find my prince charming, let me at least be someone else's prince", that sort of sacrificing-for-the-greater-good stuff...
Itchy Scratchy: Okay bazooka past Saturn and head straight to Planet X. Are you listening to yourself? That's dumb charity. Worse, it's dumb charity and all you're giving away is a... wig. And if you want sacrifices, there's Sarah Geronimo. You'd be doing Everyone a favor if you take her out.
Porn Diva: Hmm... Bakit naman wig?
Itchy Scratchy: Think Cher becoming Prince. Or Whitney Houston morphing into Nora Aunor--same thing, but the "new" form is less, less, less shinier. You want to be Prince?
Porn Diva: He-he! Oo nga. I guess you're right. It's just that I don't want to break somebody's heart because I know how it feels...
Itchy Scratchy: You're a whore, not a social worker.
Porn Diva: I'll just find a way how to tell him. Sayang lang, cute pa naman. Hindi nga lang discreet.
Itchy Scratchy: Your gaytoy will learn. Soon as he discovers collared tops and maybe Mohawks and hair wax. Then maybe you can try again. For now, I'll be in Planet X and you stay away from ballads.
Porn Diva: Thanks, Cuz!
0 said something:
Post a Comment