05 February 2008
Too fun to miss
I was never the type who'd whip out expensive gadgets from my insides in an alley, an open store, a PUJ, a PUB, other PUVs or any other place that wasn't meant for flashing privates or anything else that shouldn't be bruised unless insured.
And I've never been the type who'd generously show courtesy in PUJs. Last night, on my way to the darkest place ever--the house, which pathetically stood in the middle of a block where power has been dead for about 15 hours as of this writing because of some electrical dipshit damage up some Meralco post, pant--I rode an empty jeep. And I sat comfortably, of course, resting my left thigh and knee on the clear bench. A hundred heartbeats later, a woman hopped on and splatted her enormous ass RIGHT ON MY LIMB.
Instinctively, my eyes went on ruler mode and tried to measure the gargantuan object that had hit me: Twelve feet of vacancy and it HAD to POUND my knee? I don't think so.
I summoned what remaining force I had and mightily pulled my poor joint from under the boulder. Bad enough as it was, my back also hit the corner of the jeep. It was tough, but it paid off: Lady Blob sensed my brewing Sparta, turned her head and apologized. I just wished she'd had moved her pregnant butt first, though, before syllabicating apology and waiting for a response that would never come willingly.
I gripped my bag strap, forced a smile and, as she snailed her luggage away, rolled my eyes and looked the other way, praying that I won't see a baseball bat lying on the street. Bad place, bad time...
Anyway, the gadgets. To my dismay, I can't seem to control myself and I keep on taking pictures using my phone. Alone. Normally, I'd have to be in a huddle of club bouncers before I check my 2-inch coin purse. But now, daylight or dawn, alone and in the middle of crime infested streets, I bravely use my phone which costs more than thrice my measly salary. But I can't help it! There's so many "sights" that are just too... fun... to be missed. Like a vandal that reads, BAWAL UMIHE DITO GAGO. Or a sign that says, Wanted Helfer. Or a free ad that reads: "Wanted: Lady bedspacer, MALE OR FEMALE students apply inside". See? Would you let those slip immortality through photos?
I'm gonna keep doing this. So the next time a lugger pool of an ass hits me, me and my chainsaw will be ready.
And I've never been the type who'd generously show courtesy in PUJs. Last night, on my way to the darkest place ever--the house, which pathetically stood in the middle of a block where power has been dead for about 15 hours as of this writing because of some electrical dipshit damage up some Meralco post, pant--I rode an empty jeep. And I sat comfortably, of course, resting my left thigh and knee on the clear bench. A hundred heartbeats later, a woman hopped on and splatted her enormous ass RIGHT ON MY LIMB.
Instinctively, my eyes went on ruler mode and tried to measure the gargantuan object that had hit me: Twelve feet of vacancy and it HAD to POUND my knee? I don't think so.
I summoned what remaining force I had and mightily pulled my poor joint from under the boulder. Bad enough as it was, my back also hit the corner of the jeep. It was tough, but it paid off: Lady Blob sensed my brewing Sparta, turned her head and apologized. I just wished she'd had moved her pregnant butt first, though, before syllabicating apology and waiting for a response that would never come willingly.
I gripped my bag strap, forced a smile and, as she snailed her luggage away, rolled my eyes and looked the other way, praying that I won't see a baseball bat lying on the street. Bad place, bad time...
Anyway, the gadgets. To my dismay, I can't seem to control myself and I keep on taking pictures using my phone. Alone. Normally, I'd have to be in a huddle of club bouncers before I check my 2-inch coin purse. But now, daylight or dawn, alone and in the middle of crime infested streets, I bravely use my phone which costs more than thrice my measly salary. But I can't help it! There's so many "sights" that are just too... fun... to be missed. Like a vandal that reads, BAWAL UMIHE DITO GAGO. Or a sign that says, Wanted Helfer. Or a free ad that reads: "Wanted: Lady bedspacer, MALE OR FEMALE students apply inside". See? Would you let those slip immortality through photos?
I'm gonna keep doing this. So the next time a lugger pool of an ass hits me, me and my chainsaw will be ready.
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