The Paostian Deal

So there's a double negative. First let me ask: Where the hell is the winner of the first (and last?) Philippine Idol aired in ABC-5 two years ago? Mau, was it?

Let's do the reverse.


WHY IT WILL NOT FAIL

1. The ratio of SIM cards to humans in the Philippines is 9,438:1. The ratio of "loading stations" to SIM-owners in the country is about twice that much. (Look behind you, there's one.) Pinoy's love txt-ing. Do the math; hurray! for network service providers.
2. The second original hit that started it all--American Idol, now on its 7th season--is still, well, a hit. As everyone was disappointed with how the first network TRIED TO handle the now-controversial franchise, it is but the peak of curiosity as to how GMA 7 will vie for the show's salvation. YES, it was utterly disappointing.
3. Younger judges. Come on. Aside from Ryan Cayabyab's, why would we swallow comments from a has-been rapper-forward slash-drug addict and an, um, ancient songstress who eats hairspray for breakfast? IknowIknow, I don't have a clue about good singing--but I do know how to follow my instincts. And time element. (I remember watching "audition episodes" of Philippine Idol where all Francis M. had to say was, "Okay" and "Ma'am Pilita?", to which Her Fabulousness would bridge, "Mr. C?" 'Twas a one-grandpa team.)
   
4. The host. THE. FUCKING. HOST. -ess. A lot of people will be tuning in, myself included, to watch Raymond Gutierrez man the show--watch being the operative word. Watch him move. Watch him speak. Watch him hide. Watch him restrain. Watch him slip... For that, another push at ratings. (It was reported that Paolo Bediones was considered to be host. He lost because the Idol "bible" restricts the age limit to 30. Bediones is 33. But I have this nagging feeling it wouldn't have been different and we would watch him too, if you get my pink drift.)
   
5. Until now, Pinoys can't get enough of "reality TV". It's pure escapism, and they can't be blamed: Between the painful truth of poverty and a weekly pause from it, of course they'll choose that additional hour of entertainment. Despite more power consumption and SMS cost in the next four months should they--and they will--join the polls in choosing the winner.

WHY IT WILL FAIL

1. It's airing on a Saturday night. When everyone is out on bars, movies, coffee shops, short times, blind dates and what-have-you. By the way, questions: Will Globe be joining Smart? Will voting be included in their Unlitxt-Unlitxtd- Sulitxt paella of confusions, I mean, services? Will there be flowery Raymond wallpaper downloads? Or "i R idol" with hearts logo downloads? How many coat changes will he have for every wallpaper? Will they be of bright colors?
   
2. The impending comparison with American Idol. Filipinos love anything Hollywood, foreign, and just about anything they don't understand but still adore for their flashiness. When it comes to TV shows, Hollywood is Bible. If the local media insists on Philippine-izing the show--which they should, in theory--they better be extremely careful and be ready to be snubbed by the picky, sophisticated Filipino viewers after the first three weeks. Put on something Britney-ish, will 'ya?
   
3. I like Jolina. She's cute and bubbly and refreshing. BUT: There'd be a lot of musicians who are just out of Jolen's... age bracket. They might not get her (at all). Thus a minus on credibility. I like funny guy Ogie. But I like the songs he writes more. AND SO: It's songwriting, not performing. Why couldn't they have picked the other womanizer Janno Gibbs, people would ask. Another minus. Wyngard, well, I don't really know him. Reports say he was a DJ and a talent manager, so maybe he can gauge a talent's record sales or something? And apparently he can sing, too. I like him for looking a little... fresher... than Pilita. Period.
   
4. The host. THE. FUCKING. HOST. (Be thankful I'm using that F-word and not the other one.) Just do all of us a favor and give a straight answer to this question: Would you rather host Pinoy Idol, or snag your's sister's role in Philippines' Next Top Model?
5. In September, when the first "Pinoy Idol" will have been named, what happens next? StarStruck has had four sets of winners. One female is now pregnant; one male has a semi-dwindling following, if only for the redundant and tiring chain of hook-ups and break-ups. The rest, well, you'd have to go online to find news on them. Pinoy Pop Superstar had several batches of "promising talents" as well. And so did Coca-Cola Ride To Fame/ Yes To Your Dreams. They're supposed to be big-time talents now with massive Pilipino recognition, but unfortunately for me I don't know even their names (And I occasionally watch TV and visit record bars too). Do you? If the point of the show is to produce homegrown talents for locals to love and perhaps look up to, and these champions routinely pull an Amelia Earhart some two months after winning, then it's all a waste of airtime and txt credits.

But I am nothing more than an idealistic mutt. With highlights.

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Mau Marcelo, who didn't have an original composition for her victory song in 2006, went to Jakarta last December to compete in the first Asian Idol (it's always The First nowadays). She lost to a Singaporean named Hady Mirza. She performed Gloria Estefan's Reach and Dulce's Ako Ang Nasawi, Ako Ang Nagwagi. Ironically, it would seem her showbiz career has that last song backwards. Hopefully, it won't happen to The First Pinoy Idol. But somehow I doubt it.